Where is my Prince?

where_is_my_prince_by_miss_deviante-d5c2uxm

One movie that I have recently watched said “It’s brave to ask what is, but it is actually braver to embrace what is”. I try to do the same thing, always, and over and over again, but I can never cross off the thought inside my head that keeps asking “Is this it? Is this all that I deserve?” I surely hope not.

Every day I keep on dreaming of a love that is stable enough to conquer life’s daily problems- of a partner who I can look up to and respect as an equal. I dream of a man who I can lean on to for emotional strength, and who can carry me in times of need. I dream of a man who will create visions of a lifelong future together with the realities in check. I dream of  a man ready to be a husband, someone I can proudly call my future child’s father.

Every day I keep on dreaming, and every day I slowly lose hope. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I … I want to believe that at the fork of the road, my prince will be there, to hold my hand as we cross and find the way to the place where dreams turn to realities, where happily ever after still exists.

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Cinderella’s blues

As my eyes let these salty tears fall, my heart gave a little twitch. It had been hurting for quite a while, but it is only tonight that I truly felt its pain. All of a sudden, my body felt heavier, as if there was a weight pressed on against my chest. How long have I been holding it back? What triggered this sudden rush of emotion? Is it my hormone or was it really just too much that it had to make itself known?

The worse thing about feeling this shattered is that I cannot even tell the reason why. Have I truly wasted my three years of existence believing that fairy tales are real and happy endings are possible for me when in reality, it never favors me? I am not the girl who a man kneels down to with roses on one hand and a promise of forever on the other. My romances have an expiration date. When will I ever learn?

Finally, I came across a man who I admire and have fallen for, and by a twist of fate and a little help from the universe, he fell for me too. In the beginning, it was all smiles and crazy times. It was good, and I should’ve stuck on to it, but I couldn’t. That was my mistake, wanting more that is. I should’ve been satisfied by whatever we were but I wasn’t. I didn’t just want his present, I wanted his future more. So it started, my hopes and dreams latched on to his words who I never should’ve held on to. He loves me but his love was not enough to pursue the future I had in mind.

Now I am here, in a middle of two roads, wondering which path to take. Do I have enough courage and life left to live should I choose to go alone, without him who holds my heart and soul? The thought of not being with him makes it hard for me to breathe. He is my air, my light, my love. Should I hold his hand and be stuck with him, knowing that I will never have a future will slowly kill me inside. I wonder which pain I could live with?

 How I wish he’s here beside me, hug me, console me, kiss me, and make me feel like everything is going to be alright. I just know that he would make me feel better, but why do I feel like he wouldn’t. Why do I feel like everything would fall apart the moment that he comes to me?

 Another chapter awaits, whether it is tragedy or comedy, I have no idea

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A Happy Wife, A Happy Life

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When you commit to someone, always make her part of the equation
Ponder ‘What will she say, what will she think, what will she feel?’
It may sound tedious but this is what commitment means
For one false move can trigger her worst possible reaction

Do yourself a favor and choose to have a happy, peaceful life
By ensuring that you have a happy and contented wife
Marriage is more than just writing vows and saying ‘I do’
It asks of you to continuously work on your relationship too

Take her out to dinner, make her laugh out loud
Make her feel she’s the best thing you’ll ever have
Hold her hand tightly and wipe her tears
In your arms she has nothing to fear

Treat her special, make her feel like she’s a princess
And you’re her prince ready to save her from distress
Remember that you hold her fragile little heart
Holding on to the promise you won’t tear it apart

Apology Not Accepted

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There will come a time when sorry wouldn’t be enough,
And saying it’s your fault wont help get you out
There will come a time when someone’s love wont be enough to forgive you
Especially when for a hundred times, you broke her heart in two

Put yourself in her shoes and wonder
Wouldn’t you be tired of doing it over and over
Believing words that are contrary to actions
And have your hopes shattered into fractions

The next time it happens and she gives up
Let her be for she have suffered too much
No amount of flowers nor a teddy bear
Can make her believe that you actually care

The secret to making her happy is to keep your words
Be true to the promises that she deeply holds
Make her feel special even when you’re not together
And maybe just maybe, this love could last forever…

Ranting about Porn, Infidelity and my view of loyalty

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Whenever I hear my boyfriend say how sexy, how hot,or how yummy another girl looks, whether it’s a Victoria Secret model or a girl we just saw passing by, I feel a little insecure. I am not tall, nor do I have super boobs or a rocking ass that he seems to prefer in a girl.
There is no problem with acknowledging that a girl looks pretty, but it’s different when you’re saying something that refers to her sexuality. Sometimes I even think that given a chance, he’d take it and go after the girl. I know he loves me with all his heart but still I can’t prevent my brain from thinking otherwise at some situations.
If a man’s perspective of beauty, especially my man’s is towers away from what I am, then it makes me feel that he does not regard me as beautiful.
Honestly, I am sick and tired of porn, sex magazine, girls who are regarded for their sexuality rather than their personality. I am a human being, all girls are, and we should not be treated as objects or be graded based on how “hot” we look. With guys continuously patronizing those objects and thoughts, then the more the industry grows. I don’t understand how men think, now how do other girls think, what I write is based on my opinion alone. Sure, there are men that I find really attractive and sexy but I never and would never think of them sexually. I have a man I love and he is enough for me.
Men would say they are loyal, the ‘chicks’ are just a feast for the eyes and that they would not even think of doing it. It’s all in the mind. Well, that is a lie. Loyalty is not just about not going to bed with another person who is not your partner. It’s also about devoting your heart, mind and desire to only one being. Men would use the excuse ‘It’s normal… It’s biological’ Well, that’s crap. If you love a girl, if you truly do you would not want to make her feel unsecured and doubtful.
I do see other guys as handsome but I never think of anything sexual about them. All I see is how good looking he is. Also, if he’s the male equivalent of a bimbo, then he’s off the list. You can admire beauty and not be malicious. YES YOU CAN! IT MAY BE HARD BUT YOU CAN!
So for example you see a video of a girl with big boobs boxing around, and you keep staring at her breasts. You are being malicious. You are thinking OF THAT GIRL’S BREAST, at the back of your mind if you can do something you would do something about those coconuts. That is still cheating.
For those used to it, it’s hard to shake the habit, but if you really want to, you could. You just need a motivation, a goal, and commitment. Your goal is to shake off the malicious habits, the motivation, loving your girl the right way, and of course commit yourself in doing so. Refrain from watching people having sex or pictures of people almost nude. It is unhealthy for your soul.
It’s not me being too righteous, or if it is,it’s who I am.I want a man that would love me the right way, a man I can trust and depend on. Think about this, if your relationship is hanging on a balance, between you and your malicious acts, what would you choose? Who do you love more, is it your vice or your relationship? Just ponder on the thought.

Dear God (Entry No. N)

Dear God,
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Yesterday I was ranting about my work and my love life to a friend of mine. I love my job, I like what I get to do but there are sometimes that it isn’t what I always wanted it to be, and there’s the meager income fact. Sure, it’d get upgraded once I become a regular employee but the agony of waiting is well… you know what I feel, even better than I do.
Today, I just got a phone call, well I saw an email first. It was from a top-rated TV station in the country, OFFERING me a job. It isn’t just an invitation for a job interview. It is actually a JOB OFFER. The person on the other line has been calling me for two days now but the phone that I am using rejects unknown numbers so I couldn’t answer it. They wanted me, and so they sent me an e-mail to call them. I did. I thought it was a spam message at first but when I talked to him, he was really selling me the job. It’s a good show. It’s the kind of show that I want to do. I get to work as a researcher for a subject I’m passionate about. I get to be part of telling stories to people. I get to be part of something I have always dreamt of.
Then, reality strikes, I am the eldest of three children, thus partly responsible for helping them out in their education. The job I love is only good for three months, it’s contractual and talent-based. There is no guarantee that I can do it for a long-term. I cannot risk my family’s sake.
I am so torn right now. Let your will be done and whisper into my heart which path I need to take.

The Truth Unveiled

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My body shivers but not from the cold
Scared of whatever truth I might unfold
You told me to ask your side of the story
I did, you lied, so don’t tell me you’re sorry

Maybe you’re only sorry that you’re caught
Please don’t tell me that it is my fault
All I ask was honesty and yet you failed
You throw our relationship to the flames

I feel like a fool, I feel hurt and cheated
Never had I feel a wreck and devastated
Gave my heart and soul to someone I thought worthy
Who in the end turned out to be just playing me

Help Me Travel and Write

I saw this blog on the internet about how a girl earned her way to college through this funding website and that’s when I got the idea. Remember me wanting to travel and write but do not have sufficient funds to do so, well I decided to sign up on this site and see where it gets me.

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Click on the image to know more and maybe you’d be interested. every penny counts…:)
Take some time guys… 🙂

The Future of Story Telling

The Future of Story Telling
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Hello there fellow writers,
I have recently heard of this interesting course on the internet The Future of Storytelling . It’s an online class that allows passionate lexophiles like us to connect with each other while gaining knowledge. For ten weeks, we will be given an opportunity to explore more of our ideas and turn them into something bigger. Have I mentioned that this course is ABSOLUTELY FREE. We can enjoy getting video lessons, doing homework, group works and P2P with our teacher for no cost at all.
All we have to do is click on this link: The Future of Storytelling , enroll, wait until the 25th of October and learn on our own free time.
See you in class… 🙂