Step One: Admit to yourself that you need help.
Sometimes talking to a friend or a loved one is still not enough to rid yourself of the constant fear and sadness that goes along with the bitter memories of the past. Denying yourself the privilege of getting a new start and leaving everything behind would do you no good. You are just delaying it from haunting you over and over through different courses of your life. The problem is that we are so afraid- afraid of how people will look after, once the truth had been told, afraid of their judgments and possibly hurting some people’s emotions, especially the loved ones. It would pain their hearts if they knew you’ve been through such horrible experience. It’s bad enough you have to experience it, you don’t want them to suffer with you. It is not the way to go about with it though. Trust me, I know. I kept chapters of my life hidden from even the closest people in my life and it just created a prison cell for me. I simply could not escape. No matter how hard I try to pretend that I’m alright, or even think that I already am, it just comes back from behind me, ruining a happy day, causing depression, even worse, suicidal tendencies. Behind the smiles of this lady is a little girl locked up in a corner, never knowing when it’s ever really going to grow up. She doesn’t know how to fix herself. She doesn’t know what to do to get rid of the nightmares that dates back for more than decades. I am not as tough as I seem to be, I am weak. I am tired though, I want the life that was robbed of me back. I want to live, to truly enjoy life. I need help and I am getting it. I may not be able to tell the tales yet because this is just as far as I can go for now, but I look forward to the day that I get to tell it all and maybe inspire or encourage people to break free as well. To anyone out there who gets to read this and understands what I mean, because they themselves are victims just like I am, please, let’s stop torturing ourselves. Help yourself live. Stop hiding in the shadow. Let us live.