Many people would look at me and see a confident girl who can take over the world if she wanted to. With her charm, her wit, her mind, and everything that she is, it seems like she can get what she wants. What I’ve just written are just assumptions of course, I never really know what people thinks of me. Well news flash: I’m not perfect, I’m a scaredy cat, I’ve had my fair share of failures and mistakes that led me to be how I am today.
It saddens me when I hear people, especially those who I love and know, those people whose potentials are clearly burning brightly but are afraid to let the world see and experience it. They keep telling that they fear rejection, failure, and it is what holds them from trying.
I’m not good enough. I can’t do it. I don’t qualify. I don’t think I can These are the words that I often hear them use as an excuse. I really just don’t understand why. How do they know if they won’t even try? There is no harm in trying is what I say. So what if you don’t get it, it simply means that it isn’t for you. It has nothing to do with who you are, it doesn’t diminish your character, you’re still you, the wonderful you.
I’m the type of girl that grabs almost every opportunity that comes my way. I’m the queen of part-time, coupons and everything else. If there is something that interest me, I try it out. I’ve been rejected to job offer once, twice, as much as four. I’ve been denied chances to win on contest or even to participate in one. I’ve also been rejected on the aspect of love, and that was the biggest rejection of my life.
Long ago, I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak which caused an emotional trauma. I cried my eyes out for half a year and I felt like a zombie, meaning empty. I don’t know how to live. After almost four years of being a happy couple, he suddenly doesn’t want me anymore. Somewhere along the way, he decided he doesn’t want to be with me. With one phone call during Christmas, without any explanation whatsoever, he left me. At the time, I never wanted to try again, in love that is. For a hopeless romantic such as myself, that meant that I’ve really hit the down low.
I fearED that the person I might fall in love with next will not love me as well. I felt that no one would seriously, hopelessly fall in love with me.
Two years later, I met a wonderful guy. He has everything I wanted in a man, a stable job, a beautiful heart and mind, plus the attitude of a true man, and has good looks too. I was so afraid of trying to fall in love again. I was afraid and never even thought of the possibility of him liking me back. My fear had caused me him. I lost him, all because I was too afraid, and by the time I was ready to face my fear, it was too late. He did liked me, but he feared rejection too. It was an almost love story, one where we were but we weren’t.
That particular stage in my life had thought me the lesson, that I shouldn’t have been scared. Yes I’ve lost the person I almost or maybe I did fall in love with again, but that doesn’t mean that there is no one else out there for me. Soon enough, I met him, the guy who turned my life around.
He is the weirdest, coolest and astonishingly ridiculous person I’ve ever met. He stripped me off my vanity and insecurities. He made me feel special and happy, and loved. He is just so worth it, the pain and whatever it might cause me, that I just couldn’t NOT TRY to work things out. I’ve learned my lesson, so with everything I am, with trembling bones and pounding heart, I’ve admitted I love him. We’ve been together ever since, sure we have our dramas and other episodes of heartbreak but we fight off our obstacles hand in hand.
Dear Love, if you are reading this, I want you to know that I have fallen in love with you because you have a lovely character and yet there are still more of you I see that you seem to be blinded of. It hurts me that you don’t believe in yourself as much as you should. You’re talented, you’re awesome, you are just too lazy to try. Someday when you’re ready, which I hope is soon, I hope you get out there and show the world what you’re capable of. Get out there and together we’ll make all our dreams come true.