Ranting about Porn, Infidelity and my view of loyalty

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Whenever I hear my boyfriend say how sexy, how hot,or how yummy another girl looks, whether it’s a Victoria Secret model or a girl we just saw passing by, I feel a little insecure. I am not tall, nor do I have super boobs or a rocking ass that he seems to prefer in a girl.
There is no problem with acknowledging that a girl looks pretty, but it’s different when you’re saying something that refers to her sexuality. Sometimes I even think that given a chance, he’d take it and go after the girl. I know he loves me with all his heart but still I can’t prevent my brain from thinking otherwise at some situations.
If a man’s perspective of beauty, especially my man’s is towers away from what I am, then it makes me feel that he does not regard me as beautiful.
Honestly, I am sick and tired of porn, sex magazine, girls who are regarded for their sexuality rather than their personality. I am a human being, all girls are, and we should not be treated as objects or be graded based on how “hot” we look. With guys continuously patronizing those objects and thoughts, then the more the industry grows. I don’t understand how men think, now how do other girls think, what I write is based on my opinion alone. Sure, there are men that I find really attractive and sexy but I never and would never think of them sexually. I have a man I love and he is enough for me.
Men would say they are loyal, the ‘chicks’ are just a feast for the eyes and that they would not even think of doing it. It’s all in the mind. Well, that is a lie. Loyalty is not just about not going to bed with another person who is not your partner. It’s also about devoting your heart, mind and desire to only one being. Men would use the excuse ‘It’s normal… It’s biological’ Well, that’s crap. If you love a girl, if you truly do you would not want to make her feel unsecured and doubtful.
I do see other guys as handsome but I never think of anything sexual about them. All I see is how good looking he is. Also, if he’s the male equivalent of a bimbo, then he’s off the list. You can admire beauty and not be malicious. YES YOU CAN! IT MAY BE HARD BUT YOU CAN!
So for example you see a video of a girl with big boobs boxing around, and you keep staring at her breasts. You are being malicious. You are thinking OF THAT GIRL’S BREAST, at the back of your mind if you can do something you would do something about those coconuts. That is still cheating.
For those used to it, it’s hard to shake the habit, but if you really want to, you could. You just need a motivation, a goal, and commitment. Your goal is to shake off the malicious habits, the motivation, loving your girl the right way, and of course commit yourself in doing so. Refrain from watching people having sex or pictures of people almost nude. It is unhealthy for your soul.
It’s not me being too righteous, or if it is,it’s who I am.I want a man that would love me the right way, a man I can trust and depend on. Think about this, if your relationship is hanging on a balance, between you and your malicious acts, what would you choose? Who do you love more, is it your vice or your relationship? Just ponder on the thought.

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