Readers I need your help!

I’m getting tired of pretending that you are just a friend. I’m hurt every time that you pretend that I’m inexistent. When we saw your friends, I felt invisible. I wish I could run away just so you can keep up your charade. I wanted to go home.
What we have is great, it’s wonderful even. I love every single moment that I get to spend with you, but I’m scared. I’m scared that I won’t be able to hold on to this fantasy anymore. It’s like having something close enough for you to reach but you can never touch. I love you, but as happy as I am, I can’t deny that it also hurts.
I’m not asking you for a commitment, I never will. I’m not even going to ask you to stop pretending we’re nothing more than friends. I’m just going to rant here for I know you won’t be reading this.
What do I want?
I want to hold your hand and kiss you in front of my friends. I want to be able to tell them how happy I am-with you, how happy you make me feel.
You know what? Sometimes I think that you don’t want a commitment because you don’t see us as something that could last, maybe you see us as something temporary and it would just be a waste of time to put one on us.
I could understand it at the beginning because it was nothing but play, but it’s not anymore right?
I want you to want the things I want as well, because you yourself want them and not because I want them. I’m scared that you’ll never want them and that later I wouldn’t have any part of my heart left unbroken to stay in whatever this is.
I love you and I have to say goodbye. Maybe I’m just not ‘that girl’ for you. Yes I want more, and I’m sorry I happen to want all this on the same week of your birthday that I might end screwing things up by saying goodbye to you.
READERS HELP! I need you to help me to figure out what to do, what to say, how to stop hurting, how to… I dunno. Help me please.

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10 thoughts on “Readers I need your help!

  1. poetryblogofmine says:

    I think you have to be honest to yourself and
    The person you care about.
    Timing is perfect and only you know when the time is right to express how you feel.
    It’s better to be honest then to never express how you feelings.

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