Once upon a time I have this rule where I won’t date any of my friends, because boyfriends come and go but friends stay for life and once a relationship is damaged, it’s never the way that it used to be. I love my friends too much to even risk the thought of losing them. But sometimes you can’t help who you have a connection with, and you can only fight it for so long—which I did for quite some time…
I have tons of guy friends. I have no idea why but I am more closer to men than I am to the XX chromosome group. It’s easier to talk to them about stuff, even love problems because unlike girls who will try to make you feel better and boost your confidence, most of my guy friends doesn’t press on with details. Also, they take care of me and my heart by preventing me to do stupid stuffs. They know the XY chromosome better so they can give me a heads-up when a guy seems serious, okay or a person I should not bother with.
Mind you, I have very few gentlemen friends. The downside of hanging out with guys, most of the time, they just treat you as one of them. “One of the Boys” as they usually say. Even when I’m wearing a skirt and heels, they would not hesitate to drag me to go hiking with them. We go to the arcade and play basketball, and other outdoorsy stuff. It’s fun at times when they are more meticulous and vain than I am and I joke about them being a girl.
I have rare finds as well, friends that treat you like a girlfriend even though you are just a friend. They are the types of guy who goes out with you, treat you to the movies or on a lunch/dinner out, hang-out with you, carry your bag and walk you home. The type of guy that is just a text/call away and they’d rush to get to you. The type of guy who makes you wish they don’t find a girlfriend yet but never wish to be their girlfriend.
I have this friend who I’ve known for more than a year now that fell under the rare find category. He’s the type of guy that doesn’t realize how wonderful he is, or at least lets it get into his head. He loves to make jokes, corny ones and will tell you whatever comes into his mind (even if it’s sometimes offensive to a girl). He enjoys reading as much as I do, or maybe even more (that’s a scary thought). He is indifferent to most things but really presses on issues that matter, especially news about the nation or the society. He doesn’t like poems and songs that are straight-on with the lyrics, he prefer the metaphors. He and I have very different taste in a lot of stuff but somehow we managed to find mutual points. He’s one of the weird ones.
Through time, I realized that I am starting to have feelings for him, but it was ignored due to the fact that I was sorta kinda dating someone else. When that someone else turned me down, it was this friend that I was talking to. When he laid out the dating proposal, I remember shaking and my heart was beating wildly. There are major reasons why I shouldn’t say yes but I did anyway.
Dating him has been hard, emotionally, because I have invested more feelings than he did. He is complicated and yet I liked him even more for that. He admits being a pain in the a-s-s at times but says that’s just the way that he is haywired. I keep on learning more about him as we go on dating, and I keep on getting fascinated. It’s like getting to read an endless book that keeps you on the hook every time I’m talking with him. Despite the jealousy, the emotional torture at times, he is also who makes me happiest at the current (non-family related). I may have broken my rule of not dating a friend but it’s a choice that I am willing to make over and over.
There is no telling what the future holds for us, if we can be more than what we are, get tired, fight and end things but hey I’m willing to read this book until it’s very last page. Whether its happily ever after, or and then they parted ways, one thing is for certain. I know that no matter what, he and I will always be friends and our story is something both of us will remember for our lifetime.