I hope I’m Not

I command myself not to be,
It’s too early and I’m not ready
From now on I swear I will behave
Just give me this one last save

Dear God please don’t take my life,
I want to grow old and be someone’s wife
Publish my own book and have my own library
Put my child to bed and read him a story

I’m still too young, please give me more time
Lord I am nowhere near ready of letting go and die
I will not even attempt to find out if its real
Until the day that I lose the ability to feel

Months from now, I may be six feet below the ground
This will be our secret  that no one must find out
Else, hearts will be broken and mine will then shatter
But know that I love you today, always and forever


5 thoughts on “I hope I’m Not

  1. Bri says:

    Reminds me of some time i spent in intensive care -initially in a near death situation.There was a time I could not even sit up,could not breath,fever of around 104 often. Plenty of time to think about who I was,where I had been,and where I was going – and most important,my relationship with others .

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