We are no longer the “us” that we used to be. You may not say it out loud, but I can feel it piercing through my soul, I am no longer special to you. There’s just something wrong with the way that you look at me now, heck you can barely look me in the eyes now. It’s like you look at me but then you couldn’t see me. You speak to me but you no longer talk to me. You don’t even smile anymore when we cross paths nowadays, at times even, I feel like you wish you took the other path.
What happened? I thought you said we were okay. I thought everything is fine. It’s not. It’s just not…
Yesterday for a fracture of a moment, I was certain that my heart did stopped beating, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think. Should I stay or must I walk away? What do I say? What do I do? These were but a few questions that filled my head. I managed to walk a few paces away, but then I ended going back. I was eager for your presence, I was eager for your touch. Hence, with every ounce of energy that I could muster, I used it to force my feet to walk towards you. I offered my hand and said “Hey” and you said “hey back”, then we continued walking separate ways. It was then that I turned that I felt my knees began to wobble and tears starting to solidify from my eyes. It was my plan to make a name for myself and then come back and seek after your heart, but seeing you now, you cut off that single thread of hope that I have that we may someday be.
I miss waiting for you, I miss going out with you, I miss hearing your corny jokes, I miss seeing you smile, I miss… you, everything about you. I thought we were friends before, but this wasn’t how we used to be when we were just friends, why can’t we be like that again? Why?
I’m now writing you this letter which will remain unsent but I am hoping to get published in hopes that you’d come across this one day and you’ll get to read it, and if you do can you please answer me… “What happened?”