I shouldn’t be here. Sitting here, waiting, pondering, it will only make things harder.It would only make things worse, yet I cannot shake the feeling that this is where I should be. Right here in my usual spot, this is where I need to be right now.
Last night, I dreamt about you again. More specifically, I dreamt about us. It was everything I wanted. It was the perfect scene, and if I could, I wouldn’t have mind staying there forever. It was YOU, all the things that made me fell in love with you. Your corny jokes, the way you smile, the way you talk, my brain knew you all too well.It made me hopeful, it made me scared.
In reality, it wasn’t even a possibility. It’s like racing against the speed of light, crazy and impossible. You are a fascinating being. You keep me amaze at a level I could not comprehend myself. No matter what you say, it seems my eyes cannot be averted. You are the only thing that it can see.
I miss January, the month that we started getting closer. The month where I felt that we were close. It was the start of everything. It was beautiful and simply magical. I have no idea whether I just expected too much or you just really drifted away. What happened? What made the scene change? I tried staying away but every waking moment that I spend without hearing from you just feels empty.
We are friends, or at least we were and so I tried my hardest to resist the growing emotion inside of me. Problem is, there is no stopping it. It just keeps on getting stronger, with or without you by my side.
Now comes the time where pretending is no longer possible. I can no longer stay and be your friend. I want to stay, I wish I could but it will only hurt us both. Goodbye my friend, goodbye my love. The memories we shared together shall forever be etched on my heart.
(C) Joan Miranda