Letters to the Prince #4 (03-26-07)

This is the day that I first realized I love him.
I was so in love with him…
I really loved him…
Here comes the journal entry I wrote that day

I tried my best not to show how much I’m hurt. I smile. I laughed hard but deep inside I really want to cry. Just today I made a decision. There is no use in continue loving him. He loves her and somehow I know that she loves him too.. She just don’t know how to express it. Damn! I want to cry right now. I wanna let it out. I told everybody that I dont love him, I really dont. But I do and I really really do. When will this sad faith end?

He was crying because of her and you know what I did, I brought the one he loves to her,hoping that they would get along. You have no Idea how much it hurts… I wish I can tell her to take care of him but I know that she will ask why… I don’t want to tell her because I love him and I know that you are the only one who can make her smile. If I do I’m afraid to get things complicated. I have no one to tell my problems…

I wish I could lose myself in oblivion. I wish to be numb. I wish to escape this sorrow… She’s my friend and I wish she would take care of him… I can still see his crying eyes and it’s not a pretty sight. I wish to see him smile but that smile would never because of me..

I want him to stop hurting himself for he don’t know how much I am the one who really suffers…
I am letting these tears flow today hoping that this pain would ease…

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